There is no self-made man. We are made by others: nurturing parents, caring kinfolks, helpful neighbours, good friends, dedicated teachers, cooperative colleagues and kind strangers. Even enemies, too, for they help hone our survival skills. What we made by ourselves is miniscule. We should not forget the nameless who grew our food and comforted us. Even hermits have to depend on what nature provides. Our debt to Earth for air and water cannot be quantified.
I have taken a lot, and knowing how much I have given, I have to admit that my give-and-take balance sheet is skewed against me. I like to clear my debts before I leave, and as my remaining years are short, I better not dilly-dally. Many of my creditors are dead. That does not mean that the debts can be forgotten. Many of my creditors are no longer in need of what I owe. That should not excuse me for late payment. I can pay forward, which I am sure is what those creditors would like me to do.
If you look at life like I do, you have a perennial purpose.
Whatever we do for family or kin, it’s not mere duty. Whatever help we give those near us is not just being neighbourly. Whatever favour we grant to our friends, it’s to be expected. And whatever right deed we accord to the rest and our environment, it’s civic-mindedness. Or kindness? Or being human? Whatever we call it, it’s clearing a debt.
We owe a lot because everyone has received the good done for, to or at us. Of course, each of us had a share of the bad things done to us. However, we survived because the good far outnumbered the bad, which explains why we are alive today. So, it’s time to pay back. We will need to spend the rest of our lives to clear our pile of debts. We should endeavour to present a closed balance sheet when we meet our creator.
Our memories are of the moments we experienced or witnessed with another person or persons. They also include the moments we experienced alone. Others cause every moment: ourselves, the situations we find ourselves in, and nature. We recall the good moments fondly, and we try to forget the bad ones. We remember only a fraction of the moments because most were lost due to inattention, distraction, indifference, and poor record-keeping. Whatever memories we retain, we owe them to their creators.
We can pay back by becoming creators of good moments. Every duty, neighbourly and friendly gesture or act of kindness creates a good moment. And we know that every good moment is recalled and often shared. We also know that a fond memory is recalled when we spy on someone smiling for no apparent reason. And when that happens, we know that we have reduced our pile of debts by one.
Step up your effort to clear your debts and create happy moments. When you meet your maker, you will leave with a more balanced balance sheet.
Cheng Huang Leng
Cheng Huang Leng is a marine engineer by training. For many years, he taught marine automation to Singapore Polytechnic students and personal effectiveness, leadership, and quality management to Singapore Technologies employees until his retirement.
