There is no true absolute reality in this world. Our sense of reality is subjective and distorted because our personal past knowledge, experiences and beliefs influence our perception of an event or object. Different people see and interpret the same object differently. Our clouds block our view of the mountain.
One day, Peter, Paul and Mary visited their friend, a young man, to congratulate him for getting his first job after completing his marine technician training. The job on a cargo ship required him to sail for a year before a home break. After staying for a while, they left. Along the way, Peter noticed that Mary was quiet and appeared sad. He asked her why. Mary replied: “He just married, and now they must be separated for a year. It will be tough for them, especially the wife.” Mary was very sensitive and emotional, and it was not surprising that she felt that way. Peter, a cheerful person, said: “But he can travel and see the world. It will be fascinating for him”. Paul, a lazy and happy-go-lucky chap, said: “It is hard work with very poor working conditions. He will suffer. I will not want to do it”.
They perceived the same event but assessed it differently. This diversity of perspectives, shaped by their attitudes, priorities, biases, and beliefs, is what makes our world rich and enlightening. They have different clouds filtering their observations of the mountain. Yet, all three observations were valid.
It is perfectly natural that we have these differences, and there is nothing we can do about them. In our interpersonal relationships and interactions, we must be aware of this and respect and accommodate others’ views and perceptions from their context. Learning from their inputs is a valuable opportunity to enrich our understanding of the object. We let others help us clear our clouds, fostering an open-minded approach. We must not stubbornly remain in our comfort zone, believing that we are always right and others are wrong.
We all remember these five blind men trying to find out what an elephant is by feeling different parts of its body. The trunk, the tail, the prominent ear, the strong leg and the vast body. Each man’s knowledge of the elephant is different from that of another. But if they put their inputs together like a jigsaw puzzle, they will have a clearer understanding of what the elephant looks like. Otherwise, they will go away, one thinking the animal is a long tail-like object, another a sizeable fan-like creature.
Even individuals perceive things differently at different ages. There is a Chinese saying: “You see the mountain, it is a mountain. You return later to see the mountain, it is not a mountain.”
As a young teenage boy, a mountain is just plain to you—a natural object. When you are 30-50 years old and into your mid-career, you see the mountain, not as a mountain. Your years of experience and exposure in the working world have shown you the good and bad side of the world: success and failure, joy and misery. You carry the bag of memories, becoming more cautious and wary of what you see. You don’t take things at face value any more. Yes, it is no longer just a mountain. When you are old and retired, you see the mountain again as a mountain. You have seen the world and experienced the ups and downs in life. Nothing now bothers you, not the past, not the future. You have let go of the negative memories and emotions. You are enjoying the present in peace and tranquillity, with a calm body and mind. Yes, with emptiness, the mountain is still just a mountain.
In life, we can never find absolute reality. Everything is related to another, and we only have subjective reality. Nothing is authentic. This is the law of nature.
Cheong Quee Wah
Cheong Quee Wah, graduated in engineering and business administration, was in the government service for 24 years, and had held the appointment of permanent secretary in various ministries. He also studied traditional Chinese herbal medicine and is a trained qigong master.
