An Opinion piece by Ling Sing Lin
We know that there are several types of love, of which the more well-known ones are: romantic love (eros), parental and family love (storge), love for everyone (agape), platonic love (philia), and self love (philautia).
Romantic Love
Focusing on romantic love in this short blogpost, I am intrigued by the book titled The Postman’s Fiancée, authored by Denis Theriault.
The Postman’s Fiancée
Tania is a 22 year old who moved to Montreal to study. She found work as a waitress in an unpretentious restaurant, which was frequented by local postmen. She fell in love with a shy postman named Bilodo, who spent all his spare time writing haiku. Haiku is a Japanese poetic form that consists of three lines, with five syllables in the first line, seven syllables in the second line, and five syllables in the third line.
Sadly, the postman was in love with another haiku poet Segolene, who lived in Guadeloupe, which is an island in the Southern Caribbean Sea. They had never met, and in fact Bilodo the postman was impersonating another haiku poet who was recently deceased, and who was the one corresponding with Segolene.
The unrequited love of A for B, who in turn loves C, puts both A and B in the In Love category, and B and C as being in the Is Loved category.
The ones who are In Love are full of anticipation and excitement when they think of, and spend time with the ONE in the Is Loved category.
In Love
As those who have been in love know, there is elevated mood, increased energy and confidence when you are in love. This is a pleasurable feeling. It feels good to be “in love”. In many instances, the one who is loved reciprocates, as it is a confidence booster to be loved. This is a win-win situation. The happy couple are in love and satisfied.
However, when feelings are not reciprocated, rejection is an unsatisfactory situation.
To be Loved/Is Loved
This is the category when the love given meets barren soil. The recipient does not experience “the high” of being in love. However, when there are no better options available, the loved person may accept the offer of love/marriage. Love can develop over time, despite the absence of a “high” as experienced by being in love.
If your love is not reciprocated, would you settle for being loved by someone else? Let’s be realistic, not every marriage has a starry eyed bride and a starry eyed groom!
After all, despite the highs of falling in love, doesn’t marriage and familiarity bring you down to earth?
Happy Endings are Not Guaranteed
Going back to the story of The Postman’s Fiancée, when the postman was rejected by the luscious Segolene when he sought her out in Guadeloupe, he finally falls in love with Tania. But as usual, there is a twist at the end of the story. Love does not run smooth.
lingsinglin
Dr Ling Sing Lin is a medical doctor by training. She worked in MOH HQ for many years, in policy making and administrative positions, until her retirement.
