I am always touched by people who show concern by giving me their time, the most precious thing a person can give to another. Often, this gift of time also involves putting in effort and expenditure.
Mr Leong, an 84-year-old robust man, came to my apartment in Ipoh (my home away from home) during the tail-end of the recent pandemic. I was alone. He delivered a tiffin carrier for my lunch. I was unwell. The medical history, signs and symptoms pointed to COVID-19, although repeated tests were negative. It was a simple lunch – “yong tau foo” (酿豆腐). He also brought 莲花清温, a commonly used Chinese medication for COVID-19. It was a welcomed change from fruits for breakfast, lunch and dinner when I was down.
I thanked Mr Leong for his thoughtfulness, and he replied, “It is nothing”. I responded with the first part of a well-known axiom – 千里送鹅毛, 礼轻情意重. (Goose feather sent from afar, a light-weight present with heavy-weight affection behind it.) It is not the gift that counts but the thought behind it.
Like many Chinese sayings (idioms), there is a tale behind it. The story took place during the Tang Dynasty. To express his respect for the Tang Dynasty, a chieftain sent an envoy to the capital city to pay tribute to the Emperor. The gift was a goose. It was a long journey, and the bird’s feathers soon became unsightly. The swan broke free while being removed from the cage for a wash. The envoy could grab only one feather as the bird flew away. When the envoy reached the capital, he told the Emperor why he had failed to accomplish his duty. He ended his narration by saying 千里送鹅毛, 礼轻情意重. The Emperor thought the envoy was a sincere man and accepted his explanation.
The critical part of a gift is the effort, consideration and sacrifice we put into it (and not the choice of the present.) Mr Leong exemplifies that every gift counts, no matter how small. Similarly, every day counts, no matter what happens; every effort counts, no matter how small. We should live, try, and help someone every day. We may only sometimes know how to solve someone else’s problems. But by being willing to try, the effort counts for something.
We know that not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts. But we should always count our blessings when we have friends like Mr Leong. It is not how much time we have, but how much time we give away to others that matter. And it counts not how much money we have, but how we spend it, which counts.
Vince
Dr Vincent Chong is a retired Professor of Radiology at Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore.
