The Chinese traditional belief is that to have a good and successful life, we must acquire prosperity, happiness, and longevity. We have to be wealthy, happy, and healthy. But is it true that assuming one has achieved these, they are the necessary and sufficient factors determining one’s well-being?
This is a fast-track world where everyone wants to stay ahead, to stay in. Everything is multi-dimensional and multi-tasked. Nothing slows down. Because of these challenging conditions, many of us have lost our way in the bewilderment, in the jungle, coping to survive. We are living the incorrect way. We need to slow down and come back on the correct track. We deserve to live better.
This set of stories on moral values and ethical behaviour offers some ideas and guidance. I hope you find this enlightening and useful. Happy reading.
Happiness
One day, a rich man went to see the Master and asked him, “Master, I am a very rich man. I buy whatever I fancy and enjoy having them. Each new possession gives me great joy, pleasure and excitement. But such a happy feeling does not last. I travel to various parts of the world every year and always enjoy myself during these trips. But again, these happy moments fade away after I return home. I feel just as stressed and unhappy as before. Why I cannot have lasting happiness?”.
The master replied, “If you do not have calmness in your mind, peace and tranquillity in your heart, you do not have happiness. To be happy does not mean you have happiness.”
To be happy does not necessarily mean one is happy. Being happy is an instant emotion triggered by an external event that lasts only for a short period. Winning a big prize can make us very happy. But once the thrill is over, we are no happier than before. No matter how often this short-term pleasure happens, once it is over, we will return to our normal stressful daily life.
Happiness is not an emotion. It is a wholesome state of well-being, the quality of our well-being, and our way of life. It is characterised by the feeling of contentment and fulfilment. It involves living a life of purpose, peace, and tranquility.
The man asked the Master: “Please teach me how to achieve this happiness”.
Master explained: “Happiness is not a privilege of a few, but a choice of everyone. But it cannot be acquired from outside. Everyone is born with the seed of happiness in us. It is from this seed that we cultivate our happiness from within”.
While we have the seed of happiness in us, it is not a given that it will automatically bloom. We have to put in effort and care to nurture it to grow. We must remove the layers of impurities to bring out this golden state of happiness, like cultivating the lotus flower out of the muddy water.
The man asked again: “How do I grow this lotus flower?”
The Master smiled and uttered these three words: simplicity, positivity, and connectivity.
These are the three components of the process.
First, we live a simple lifestyle with healthy habits and good ethical behaviour. In this plain living, we do not over-indulge in pleasure and gratification or crave excessive possessions of wealth, fame and power. We do not have unnecessary desires and wants beyond what we need. We are mindful joyfully of what we are doing in the present without ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. Such living brings peace and serenity to the mind, with less materialistic concerns and negative emotions cluttering the mind and heart. This is not a matter of giving up but a case of letting go.
Second, we maintain a positive attitude toward whatever we do and encounter, no matter how disturbing and unfavourable these events may be. We do not face challenges and difficulties with fear and despair but with optimism and confidence. We always believe that everything will end up for the best. Negativity hinders the growth of the lotus flower of happiness.
Thirdly, we maintain close connectivity with relatives, friends and the community in our daily lives. We engage with them in healthy social and communal activities. Such connectivity involves participation and commitment, a purpose to share ideas and experiences, however trivial. This enriches our physical and mental well-being. Connectivity nourishes your happiness.
To be alone and disconnected without these social interactions with friends and community can only lead to greater loneliness, depression and negativity. The seed of happiness cannot grow under these conditions.
In Guangxi of China, a small village called Ba Ma is renowned for its longevity. Most of its small population is in the 80s/90s, with a relatively high percentage of centenarians. They are happy and healthy elderly, many still doing the daily house chores, planting and harvesting in the fields, collecting water and fishing. They live a very simple life, a simple diet, a positive attitude and little emotional stress and concern. They are all active in communal activities and interaction, always helping and supporting each other as a family. This is a simple but healthy lifestyle. This is happiness.
In recent years, Bhutan has often been called the country of happiness. This is a misunderstanding. The people of Bhutan take living in happiness seriously. Thus, they established an annual measurement benchmark to monitor the level of happiness the population enjoys, similar to GDP, employment and inflation measurements. I do not doubt that the key factors of simplicity, positivity and connectivity are in their list of reference parameters.
The man asked, “How do I know I have achieved happiness with these practices?”
Master replied: “The process is continuous without end. There is no end-game. The process itself is happiness. The flower can continue to flourish and stay healthy only if it is cared for and nurtured at all times. Otherwise, it will wither away and die.”
The man thanked the Master for the great teaching. Before he left, the Master gave him these parting words: “Possessions and attachment can make you happy for a moment. But detachment and letting go bring you true happiness. More is less, less is more”.
Cheong Quee Wah
Cheong Quee Wah, graduated in engineering and business administration, was in the government service for 24 years, and had held the appointment of permanent secretary in various ministries. He also studied traditional Chinese herbal medicine and is a trained qigong master.
