A sharing by Ling Sing Lin
Life asked Death, “Why do people love me but hate you?” Death responded, “Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth”.
——Unknown
Birth Doula
When my elder daughter gave birth to her first child 12 years ago in the Bahamas, she paid for a birth doula to provide her with guidance and support prenatally, antenatally and postnatally. A birth doula is a caring and experienced person who accompanies the birthing couple throughout labour and childbirth with continuous mental, spiritual and physical support.
The doula is usually not medically trained, and therefore not allowed to perform any medical examination or make any diagnosis. They help answer questions, review the birth plan, support the mother during labour, breastfeeding, and after delivery, they advise regarding newborn care and feeding. Essentially they give a first time mother more confidence during a difficult time.
When my daughter delivered her second child three years later, she no longer required a birth doula.
I believe few first time mothers in Singapore pay for the services of a birth doula, but if you google, the service is available in Singapore.
Death Doula
Death always comes as a surprise, even if it is expected, even in a hospice.
The death doula concept is even more foreign to me than the birth doula. They function like two sides of the same coin. Doula is of Greek origin, meaning woman who serves.
Similar to birth doulas, death doulas do not perform medical tasks. Their role is to ensure that a dying person’s needs are met. They are general contractors of death. Death doulas are complementary to hospice care nurses, they offer emotional support through grief counseling, guidance and funerary advice. They assist a dying person and their loved ones before, during and after death.
Singapore Context
My analysis is that a death doula undertakes a few of the functions of a hospice nurse, palliative care physician, and the funeral director of a casket company.
When I was faced with the death of immediate family members, I relied on the funeral director to guide me on the various steps I was required to take, like getting a death certificate, burial permit, posting a death announcement in the newspaper, funeral arrangements, etc. I found the funeral directors helpful and caring.
Currently, both birth and death doulas don’t have much of a role in Singapore. But this may change with time.
lingsinglin
Dr Ling Sing Lin is a medical doctor by training. She worked in MOH HQ for many years, in policy making and administrative positions, until her retirement.
