An Opinion piece by Ling Sing Lin
How Much is Good Enough?
Upbringing in our Parents’ Generation
Many of our parents were first or second generation migrants from neighboring countries. They lived through tough times, before, during and after the Japanese Occupation when Singapore was a third world country.
Many of our parents didn’t even complete their secondary education. University education was the exception rather than the rule. Any skills they had were probably picked up in the university of life. They were not molly coddled, older children had to look after younger siblings, and a full stomach was not guaranteed. They survived.
Upbringing of Post war Baby Boomers
Many of us grew up monolingual. We had no tuition, played on the streets, and our grades were not as good as today’s kids. We survived.
Upbringing in our Children’s Generation
We had some money and decent accommodation. We read bedtime stories to our kids, exposed them to swimming lessons, music lessons, Chinese tuition and computer classes. They too survived.
Upbringing in our Grandchildren’s Generation
This generation can get tuition even from kindergarten. Parents hover over them, constantly validating them and praising their every minor achievement. Some are so used to expensive and a myriad of toys, designer chocolates, designer outfits, business class travel, etc that they can’t imagine what it is to do without. They feel entitled to luxuries.
Lifestyles
For the last four generations, each generation has lived a better lifestyle than the generation before. Can this continue?
Because we were deprived, we want our children to have the best. If incomes continue to rise with every generation, that would be wonderful. But what we see is a widening rich-poor divide. The credit card debt is growing. More people are living paycheck to paycheck.
We should moderate our lifestyles so that our children and grandchildren do not have unrealistic expectations.
So, what sort of upbringing and lifestyle is good enough? This of course varies, depending on your income and projected earnings. You should live within your means, or even better, live one or two levels below your means. It is better and easier for your offspring to upgrade rather than downgrade their lifestyles when they are relying on their own resources.
Anecdote
Many years ago, I read a newspaper article about the Pineapple King of Malaya. Because he considered his children and grandchildren profligate spenders, he decided his wealth would only be bequeathed to the seventh generation after him. When the time came, the lawyers devoted considerable time and resources to locate the beneficiary. They found him. He was working as a security guard in Singapore!
Moral of the Story
There is no guarantee that life will continue to be good. Family wealth can easily be frittered away. There is the Chinese saying that wealth does not last 3 generations. People who had lived in luxury can have children and grandchildren living in poverty.
Takeaway Message
So, how much is good enough, in your upbringing of your children and in your lifestyle? It is what you can afford. Your extravagant lifestyle will influence your children’s spending habits. This can be extremely harmful to them if they do not have the financial resources. The downward spiral begins.
lingsinglin
Dr Ling Sing Lin is a medical doctor by training. She worked in MOH HQ for many years, in policy making and administrative positions, until her retirement.
