An Opinion piece by Ling Sing Lin
The lifestyles of the rich and famous, and the lifestyles of the money launderers, appear to be the epitome of a wonderful life. These are extremely expensive lifestyles, luxurious, splashy, beautiful, newsworthy, etc. if you really had that much money to spend, would it be your dream to live in this lavish, eye-popping way?
We also hear of very wealthy people, Lee Kuan Yew being a good example, who live simply and frugally. Most of us, if we were swimming in money (dream on!), would be somewhere in between.
When you google “how to live well”, physical trappings of wealth don’t feature at all.
Quality of Life
The psycho-social aspects of a quality life include being in the present, surrounding yourself with people you enjoy and relate well with and avoiding narcissistic and toxic people, doing things you love, focusing on quality, not quantity, having integrity, kindness and financial security, etc, are among the many aspects of true quality of life.
Adding Value to Life
In addition, I think we need to add value to our own lives as well as to the lives of others. This is a little harder to do than just living well. Some examples are:
- Give more than you get
- Have integrity, even in small matters
- Keep your promises
- Love those who are hard to love
- Watch your body language, not just what you say
- Take the high road, set high standards for yourself
- Serve others
This is not meant to be an exhaustive list.
If you are told that you will die within the next few days, weeks or months, and you decide to continue living your life more or less the same way, then you are living the right way.
How to Die Well
Whilst I thought I was learning to live, I have been learning to die.
—-Leonardo da Vinci
In reality, when you learn to live well, and how to add value to your own life and to the lives of others, you are actually learning how to die well.
To die well, it means that people sincerely regret and mourn your passing. You yourself are unafraid of death and prepared to talk about it. You are happy to be alive, but you are not afraid to die.
It is a privilege to die in your bed in your home, declares my friend CCB, referring to the elderly and terminally ill. In Singapore, only 28% of people die at home compared to 31% in the US and 53% globally. I believe this is related to the accessibility of hospitals in Singapore. Family members panic when a terminally ill or elderly family member deteriorates because the body is shutting down, and he/she stops eating, drinking and talking. They may send them to hospital where they get poked with needles and have a nasogastric tube inserted for feeding. They die soon after anyway.
Cause of Death
Morbid as it sounds, the cause of death is my next topic. We can’t choose the cause of our death. Both when and how we die are not of our choosing, apart from suicide.
During the Spanish Flu of 1918-1920, there were many millions of deaths from pneumonia. Similarly, the recent Covid Pandemic had many deaths from pneumonia and multiple organ failure. Deaths in these situations were horrible, dying from “drowning” in lung secretions and fluids.
Pneumonia is an Old Man’s Friend
However, in old age, with lowered immunity, the old often acquire pneumonia. In the old, pneumonia can be efficient at bringing long lives to a relatively merciful end. (Pneumonia is the second principal cause of death in Singapore.)
Thanks to Zoe Holling of Unsplash for the feature image
lingsinglin
Dr Ling Sing Lin is a medical doctor by training. She worked in MOH HQ for many years, in policy making and administrative positions, until her retirement.
