A sharing by Ling Sing Lin
Second hand Car
When I was a child, my family was staying in rent-controlled premises. Neither our family nor our neighbours were well-off. However, my father, a typical male who loved cars, bought himself a second-hand Chevrolet. In those days the Chevy was a rather showy expensive American car. Our envious neighbor quickly gave her opinion “ It is only second-hand!”
Second hand Goods
Many items bought today are second hand, ranging from airplanes, boats, cars, furniture, I-phones, books, clothes, watches, jewellery, etc. To make them sound more palatable, second hand goods are sometimes labeled pre-loved or upcycled.
Second hand Information
Even information can be considered second hand. The ubiquitous messages and videos forwarded to and from our hand phones are good examples of second hand information.
Negative Connotations
The prefix “second” can have negative connotations. Some examples are:
-second place/second best. The runner up. Only the first place winner is remembered, such as at the Olympics or beauty pageants
-second childhood. Childish behavior like incontinence in old age
-second class. Second best quality or in second division
Neutral “Seconds”
Other “seconds” which do not have negative connotations include:
-second language
-second floor
-second glance
-second child
-second helping
-second dip (into a bowl of food for example)
Positive “Seconds”
I can only come up with:
– second wind, which is a new strength or energy to continue an activity
-second chance. Although you have failed, you have the opportunity to redeem yourself.
Second Child
Although I have classified second child as having a neutral connotation, not everyone agrees, especially those who are the second child in the family. The second child syndrome is when the child feels that the parents pay more attention to older or younger siblings. The first child is a novelty for new parents, and gets more new clothes instead of hand-me-downs. This is particularly so when they are of the same gender. The first child is physically bigger and appears cleverer to the second child, who will often imitate the older sibling, which is natural, for that is how they learn. The second child is often seen to be more amenable and cooperative, to gain acceptance.
Actually, parents who realise that their expectations of the first child are too high will moderate their expectations with the second child. That, I think, is the second child advantage.
My second child reminds me that she had fewer photos taken of her as a baby, compared to her elder sister. True. Now that she is a mother herself, I notice that she tries hard not to give her second child the second child syndrome. The personality of her second child tells me that she has succeeded.
Some parents deliberately have one-on-one time or dates with all their children, to give them undivided attention. A good approach.
I try to treat my two daughters equally. After all, I, too, am the second child.
lingsinglin
Dr Ling Sing Lin is a medical doctor by training. She worked in MOH HQ for many years, in policy making and administrative positions, until her retirement.
