The cheerful wife
Mrs X was always smiling or was it that she had a smiling face with friendly eyes and a positive attitude, even when she was wheeling in her husband to my clinic. A husband with a chronic illness leading to him being unable to work and walk. A husband, on the contrary, was always angry when he was in the consultation room. I think his anger was an expression of his own helplessness and poor health. He suffered from a chronic disorder which led to multiple infections and even stroke and amputation of one of his feet.
Mrs X herself was not totally in good health too. She survived an accident in a car driven by her husband earlier while he fell asleep in his car after lunch. The scars on her face were evidence of that. Two years later, Mr X died. But that was not the end of Mrs X’s problem. One of her sons was diagnosed to have a mental disorder. Luckily, the company he worked for agreed to continue employing him while he was on medication. A daughter dropped out of school and got involved with a boy.
Mrs X and another son had to take two jobs to keep the family going. At least her husband’s demise had freed her to have more time to work outside the home. Through it all, Mdm. X still comes to see me, always smiling and never complaining, even when she suffers from backache from lifting heavy loads at work.
Recently, a happy thing happened. She brought her new partner to see me. He was elderly, not very good-looking, but a nice decent fellow who seemed caring. Now Mrs X has even more reason to smile. I am happy for this positive lady who has seen so much sorrow and hardship.
An alert octogenarian
Mdm Y was 85, but she looked 20 years younger. She still walked tall and was alert physically and mentally. She used to be a fruit seller.
‘My father lived to be 108 years and left this world without having to be looked after by anyone. My mum died earlier at 80 plus. An elder brother and I are the only siblings still alive. My two younger sisters and brothers have passed on as well. What are the secrets of longevity and good health?
- Genes: history of longevity. I looked at her blood reports. She had normal levels of cholesterol and sugar. Her blood pressure was normal. So were her kidney and liver functions. She was not on any medication.
- A life of service: I looked after my husband for eight years when he suffered from a stroke. My husband had high blood pressure and refused to see a doctor or take medicine. I still do the housework at home.’
- Friends and religion: I now have friends and regularly attend meditation and religious sessions.
She continued, ‘Consider the present generation, my grandchildren. I cook and wash for the family. They look at their hand phones and computers the whole day without lifting a finger to help in the house.
‘My younger sister had cancer. She refused treatment. Her husband, my brother-in-law, also died not long after that. He had a lifestyle of drinking and late nights.
Yes, besides genes, life is what we make of it.
Loh Yunn Hua
Yunn Hua is still practising in Primary Care and Occupational Health and Safety in Miri, Sarawak, when not travelling. Her interests are exploring, reading, writing, and music. Her favourite quotation is, ‘Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
