Dr Ling Sing Lin’s article on Vincent van Gogh stirred me. By coincidence, the painter and I shared the same name (patron saint St Vincent de Paul). He was born in 1853, and I, a hundred years later.
I always find suicide disturbing and intriguing. Vincent van Gogh apparently committed suicide when he was 37 years old. He died a painful prolonged death after being shot, either by himself or someone else. His demise reminded me of a quiet spot along the Murray River in Southern Australia.
After two years of pandemic imprisonment, we could finally travel again last April (2022). We wasted no time and headed for Malaysia. This trip was followed quickly by a four-week driving holiday in Australia to reconnect with nature and friends. Yes, we felt alive with the joy of living!
Our first stop (after landing in Adelaide) was Murray Bridge. We intended to drive along the Murray River to Mildura. The open spaces in Australia were stimulating, and the autumn temperature was a refreshing change from the heat and humidity back in Singapore.
The first walk we took on the first day was the Coorong Trail along the Murray River. Ten minutes into the walk, we came across a quiet spot. I will use pictures to convey my thoughts and feelings, for words often get in the way of expressing emotions.
I can still remember the class we had in secondary school. Brother Gerald asked, “What is the most powerful human instinct?” Someone shouted, “Sex!” Brother Gerald replied, “That is the second most powerful instinct. Now, what is the most powerful?”
Self-preservation.
Nature geared our whole biological system towards preservation –survival of the individual, family, community, society, or country. Yes, the sexual instinct is powerful simply because it is part of nature’s way of ensuring the species’ survival. Why would someone go against nature’s ordained way to end one’s life? Only those who decided to go their way know.
I felt strangely troubled but calm. After spending 20 minutes in the quiet spot overlooking the Murray River, we walked on with a renewed sense of gratitude and even more sensitized to savouring the joy of living.
Vince
Dr Vincent Chong is a retired Professor of Radiology at Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore.
