By Angela Tan Qiuli
Our views, expectations, and expression of intimacy have been affected, modified, and transformed by scientific progress and technology, perhaps more so than that of any previous generation.
Things Fall Apart
A forty-eight -year-old man had penile resection and radiotherapy for penile cancer. This was followed by a year of rehabilitative sex therapy that included psychological therapy and couple work, as he and his wife explored alternatives to traditional sex. They eventually learnt to use other erogenous zones, sex toys, and prostate stimulation to achieve orgasm.
Penetrative intercourse is only a small part of sex.
Commentary
Some men feel that the best way to satisfy their partner is to have good erectile function. When this does not happen, the relationship is affected.
In the drawing, the students have included a little rhyme that captures the man’s hope that the little blue pill will solve his problems. We may find his words amusing, but to some men, this is a serious quest.
The zealous search for a good erection has spawned a lucrative market in creams, pills, suction devices, etc, that may do more harm than good. We remember cautionary tales of men who lapsed into hypoglycemic coma from ingesting adulterated libido boosting pills.
Has the search for a phallic triumph become the goal for a relationship? Is coitus the only way to express love and intimacy?
——- Dr Angela Tan Qiuli
Angela Tan Qiuli works with geriatric and palliative patients in the community. She is certified in sexual medicine and is also an intimacy coach in private practice. She teaches medical students and has a special interest in human dynamics.
The commentary and vignette were reproduced with permission from the book “Being Human, Stories from Family Medicine” edited by Cheong Pak Yean and Ong Chooi Peng and published in 2021 by the College of Family Physicians Singapore.
Pictures of illness experiences were drawn by NUS medical students in workshops conducted from 2012-2017 by A/Prof Cheong Pak Yean. Senior family physicians subsequently shared vignettes and commentaries based on the pictures.
