By Ann Toh
A child is placed in foster care when his own care structure has broken down. Fostering is meant to be a temporary arrangement, with the eventual goal of reuniting the child with his own parents. Children in foster care range from babies to teenagers, and from normal to those with special needs.
Foxes have Holes and Birds have Nests
I know a teenager in need of a home. He is a good boy but he has no one to turn to and nowhere to go. He does well in his studies and he has a good attitude —- isn’t this what we want all our children to be like? He gets bullied a lot in the Boy’s Home that he is at because of his gentle nature.
He is an orphan in every sense of the word. His mother, who was a foreigner, has died. He does not know his father. He was born in Singapore but has no family here. Since his mother has died, he has been living in the Boy’s Home, but he is reaching the age at which he will need to leave the home. Will they send him back to his mother’s country?
Commentary
I have family support, a good roof over my head, and financial stability. I could have been an orphan or had to grow up moving from place to place with no lasting home to call mine. I have a deep sense that I am blessed for a reason and that is to bless others.
A friend told me that in Singapore, it is not difficult to raise money and funds for those in need. But while we are materially rich, we are poor in the intangibles. If you want to give to them, she said, give your time, yourself, give a supportive relationship.
The older children and the teenagers are the ones who are most challenging to place in foster care. They have outgrown their cuteness factor and potential foster families are wary of youth with personalities of their own, no longer malleable or adaptable.
I know a couple who have recently taken in an older child with physical disability. One day, when I have finished my training, I hope that I do not forget to give as freely as others have.
- Dr Ann Toh
Ann Toh is a Family Medicine resident who enjoys the privilege of caring for for patients in the context of their real lives from cradle to grave, and feels that she is currently passionately pursuing the heart of medicine.
The commentary and vignette were reproduced with permission from the book “Being Human, Stories from Family Medicine” edited by Cheong Pak Yean and Ong Chooi Peng and published in 2021 by the College of Family Physicians Singapore.
Pictures of illness experiences were drawn by NUS medical students in workshops conducted from 2012-2017 by A/Prof Cheong Pak Yean. Senior family physicians subsequently shared vignettes and commentaries based on the pictures.
