Laughing with friends is a great treat. We take this for granted when we meet from time to time or in chat groups, be it Telegram, WeChat, WhatsApp, and whatnot.
What was it like when we were young? You might recall we went our separate ways after finishing school. We kept in touch with our buddies by writing aerogrammes and letters. I preferred aerogrammes not because I didn’t have much to write but because they were cheaper. Longer letters become more complicated. We buy lightweight “airmail writing paper” and special envelopes with colourful slanted striped edges. Remember Par Avion? If there is no Par Avion printed on the envelope, we get a sticker from the post office, perhaps lick it with our tongue, stick it on the envelope, drop it in the post box and wait. It typically took six days to England, four days to Australia, and three days to Hong Kong.
Then emails came along, and my friend Sze Fook organised an email chat group. Then Stephen de Souza brought us up to date with WhatsApp. What an improvement! Messages got to each other in no time, often with “interesting” attachments. And it was free – in real-time.
Yes, banter is how we communicate – trivial stuff, serious stuff and all the shades of grey in between coming in the form of banter. My school friends are hilarious. Our chat group is called “La Salle Buddies Banter”. Life will be that much poorer if we cannot laugh with others and laugh at ourselves. When we laugh, we release a cocktail of hormones in our brains that make us feel happier, more trusting, less stressed, and slightly euphoric. In a group, the same cocktail synchronises brain chemistry and bonds people.
Humour influences our behaviour and bonding makes us more resilient. Banter reflects levity – a state of mind receptive to joy and actively seeking it. Bantering is how “La Salle buddies” navigate the world – knowingly or unknowingly, we treat serious matters with humour or lack of due respect.
When we banter, we notice the oddities and absurdities in the world around us and identify them unexpectedly. Humour is not trivial and at the heart of humour is truth. Statements are often funny because they are true and more direct than we hear (typically excuses). Shared truths create the background for humour. We find laughter in reality – and this is a profound statement.
Laughter leaps into life from what is unexpected. Researchers call this the “Incongruity-resolution Theory”. Humour arises from the clash between what we expect and what happens. People enjoy surprises – the set-up of a joke goes in one direction, and the punchline goes in another. In bantering, how we deliver is the funny bit – 99% is in the delivery, not the joke itself. For instance, we can observe how Paul plays along – “Yes, and” – agree with a statement, then add a humorous line as he banters along.
Be playful, laugh and keep bantering La Salle buddies!
Vince
Dr Vincent Chong is a retired Professor of Radiology at Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore.
