A sharing by Ling Sing Lin
In the course of my life, I have come across certain individuals with personality disorders. However, not being a psychiatrist nor a psychologist, it was only years later, when reading about psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissistic individuals, did I figure out that these individuals actually had some forms of personality disorders.
There are many types of personality disorders, but I will deal primarily with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and what doctors refer to as Antisocial Personality Disorder (what laymen know as psychopaths and sociopaths).
Narcissism
The term narcissist comes from Narcissus, a handsome young man who spurned the advances of many potential lovers. The gods punished him by making him fall in love with his own reflection in a pool.
Narcissists, like psychopaths and sociopaths, can be charming and charismatic, especially at the beginning of relationships. Negative behaviors are not revealed until much later. At first they may try to please you, but eventually their needs come first. They are excessively selfish, and ignore the needs of those around them. They have an inflated ego, and need to be admired. Nothing is ever their fault, and they never apologise. They lie compulsively. Everyone may show occasional narcissistic behavior, but true narcissists totally disregard others and their feelings. They see themselves as superior to others and they lack empathy.
Sociopath and Psychopath
Such people have some traits like narcissists, such as being charming and charismatic, and they lack empathy. They also consistently show no regard for right and wrong. They lie compulsively, and manipulate others for their own ends. A sociopath has a conscience, but only a weak one. They often blame others for their wrongdoings or when things don’t turn out right for them. They know that taking your money is wrong, and they might feel some guilt or remorse, but that won’t stop their behavior. They don’t care that they have scammed you of all your money, and that you are now in dire straits. There is no empathy for those whom they scammed.
A psychopath is even worse than a sociopath, he has absolutely no conscience and no empathy. He can be cold hearted and calculating, plot his moves, be physically aggressive, and kill you without any remorse, so that he can get his way.
Many of us may have been charmed by narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths, especially if you only know them superficially. It is only much later on in relationships that you figure out something is not right, but you may not discover their true personalities unless your index of suspicion is aroused.
Multiple Personalty Disorders
Some people can have several personality disorders, eg narcissistic, sociopathic and psychopathic personality disorders. Such people carry on in life, charming new people, but causing much distress and harm to others. If a diagnosis has not been made, people around them may only regard those with personality disorders as being difficult to live with. Some people actually meet the criteria for five or more personality disorders!
Scammers
We hear of so many people being scammed of money and life savings. I facetiously say that there is now a new job category called scammer. I suspect that many of them may be sociopaths or psychopaths, but I have read of some people being forced to be scammers because they are in debt or have been kidnapped, brought to another country and locked up, to scam naïve people.
What happens to Sociopaths and Psychopaths
I believe that eventually they will be found out. But of course
they will blame others for their downfall/plights, it is never their fault. Such people are their own worst enemies. They cause the problems in their own lives, not just those of their victims.
Help! Save me!
If you discover that someone you know is a narcissist , sociopath or psychopath, the best way out is to cut off all relationship and communication with the person. You can try to change the person, but good luck to you.
lingsinglin
Dr Ling Sing Lin is a medical doctor by training. She worked in MOH HQ for many years, in policy making and administrative positions, until her retirement.
