A reflection by Ling Sing Lin
For a couple of months, I felt that my creative juices had dried up. I had nothing to write for the blog.
My friend EB returned from a trip to UK with a gift she purchased from Heathrow airport. A truly lovely book called “ The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse” by Charlie Mackesy. This book ignited a spark in me.
This book does not have many words. But every word is hand written. And the words are wise sayings. The author also produced beautiful illustrations on practically every page. The book can be read by anyone, whether eighty or eight. So I can even share it with my grandchildren.
The Storyline
Essentially, the book tells us that like us, the 4 characters are all different: a boy, a mole, a fox and a horse. Each one has his own weaknesses. But despite that, we bring to this world things no one else can.
The foursome spend time together and learn about each others’ hopes and dreams. They also discover fundamental truths about life.
Key Insights gleaned
We should be kinder to ourselves, and to others. Being kind to yourself is one of the greatest kindnesses. The hardest person to forgive is probably yourself.
We should ask for help when we need it, as asking for help needs courage. Daring to show your weakness is a strength (did you know that?).
We are embarrassed that when others know us better, they discover we are just ordinary.
We are also embarrassed to tell our friends we love them. Instead of saying “I love you all”, we say “ I am glad we are all here”.
We have the illusion that life should be perfect. That, however, is so not true.
Not being kind to ourselves
In my working life, I recall we had to do 360 degree performance appraisal. One aspect of this appraisal
involved assessing our colleagues’ work performances, even though they were not our subordinates. We all assessed others as being good, but were much harsher on our own performances. We were aware of our own weaknesses, but not that of our colleagues. We were not kind to ourselves.
We are often our harshest critics. For women, in particular, we magnify our physical imperfections, which others don’t even notice. One of my friends had her facial mole surgically removed, and we didn’t even notice any difference after the surgery.
We do not forgive ourselves when we slip up, but brush off similar faults in our friends.
Be Kind to Yourself
Remember, love yourself first. Value yourself for who you are. Be kind to yourself. Spend your money on yourself, don’t scrimp on yourself in order to leave more money for your children. You will be a happier person, and your happiness will radiate to others.
lingsinglin
Dr Ling Sing Lin is a medical doctor by training. She worked in MOH HQ for many years, in policy making and administrative positions, until her retirement.
