When I attended my first Chinese conference dinner, I found the experience somewhat intimidating. I could not interact freely with others as my command of Mandarin was limited then. Hence, I could only sit down timidly and watch how the Chinese socialise.
Dinner usually begins with the host giving his welcome speech. People start going around to toast their friends or guests as soon as the address ends. I found the behaviour rather strange. They are more interested in toasting and chatting with their friends than eating! And this goes on and on.
There is a critical difference between Chinese and Western drinking cultures on such an occasion. In Chinese culture, the emphasis is on the people. In other words, whom you drink with is much more important than what you drink, and the food served.
I eventually became conversant with the Chinese language and its social behaviour. As time passed by, I started toasting the people I know and the people they know. Baijiu (白酒) is the drink of choice during banquets or business dinners. However, Red Wine (红酒) is getting more popular.
You will often hear people say “干杯” (literally translated as “dry glass”) while toasting. This expression means finishing a drink, usually in one gulp. However, nowadays, people do not expect you to ganbei in return. Hence, when I toast, I would say, “我干了，你随意,” which means “I finish my glass, but you can drink at your leisure.”
I remember once I turned up late for a function (because of a flight delay). My allotted seat was vacant, but I had prepared myself for this awkward moment. Without hesitation, I filled my glass with Baijiu and drank my “punishment drink” (罚酒). I followed up with another glass and said, “该死的我! “which means something like “serve me right.” Everyone present clapped and accepted my “apology and remorse.”
I think people should remember that it is insulting to refuse a drink after someone toasts you. Toasting is showing respect, and you cannot refuse. So, what do you do? Just lift your glass and take a token sip.
It might seem alarming that people drink glass after glass of fire water containing 40% to 60% alcohol by volume. The Chinese solved the problem by drinking Baijiu from small glasses. Chinese dinners and drinking can go on for hours. Make sure you eat and hydrate between drinks to make it through the night! However, if you cannot drink, let it be known and ask for a substitute immediately.
Drinking is a social lubricant. It is all about enjoying the company of people and friends. And I enjoy these occasions tremendously (as you can see in the featured picture above!)
Vince
Dr Vincent Chong is a retired Professor of Radiology at Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore.
