Patients dominate the life of people in the healthcare industry. It looms large in my professional life. Being patient and getting impatient are equally significant in my own private life. If patience is a virtue, I will need to know it better.
The word “patient” comes from Latin from “patior,” to suffer or bear. In this context, it is passive –suffering the infliction of disease, enduring the treatment, and waiting for recovery. This description, the classical view, requires updating because “users or consumers” of health services can take an active part in their health care and take responsibility for some of their recovery.
Away from the healthcare industry are equally important matters related to being patient (and the blood boiling effects of being impatient). When we expect things to happen quickly and they don’t, it can be a trying experience. But we need not be helpless. We have a choice – we can choose to stay calm, practising patience for our health and relationships. A deeper understanding of this virtue in our daily life is imperative. Let us see what scientific research has to say.
Patience is a virtue and is a form of wisdom as it shows us that we understand and accept that things must unfold in their own time. The Chinese idiom 揠苗助长 (pulling rice plant to assist growing) elegant illustrates this wisdom. Once upon a time, a farmer felt his rice crop was growing far too slowly. He decided to hasten their growth by pulling them up slightly (to increase their height). He worked hard the whole day long but felt it was time and effort well spent. Days later, he discovered his crop did not grow further and had all withered and died.
揠苗助长 reminds us instead of looking for quick solutions (and getting upset at anything that gets in our way); we should observe the natural course of events. Life is not about quickly reaching the end (death) but enjoying present moments along the journey.
We are all familiar with impatience – the feeling of getting tense or annoyed when things are taking too long. This uneasy feeling (expressed as anger) can damage relationships. Prolonged irritation also affects our mental and physical health. It all boils down to the prolonged exposure to the elevated stress hormone (cortisol).
Patience, in contrast, brings calm and helps us enjoy our day-to-day a bit more (by bearing with provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, or irritation).
There are three forms of patience: firstly, interpersonal – facing difficult or annoying habits of people with equanimity. A little patience can go a long way in ensuring harmony and happiness in interpersonal relationships. Our patience appears as kindness or love.
Secondly, life’s hardships – waiting out tough times like dealing with severe illnesses and recuperating (without frustration or despair). Healing also needs time. Research suggests patient people tend to experience less depression and negative emotions. They are also more cooperative, empathetic, and forgiving. By keeping the bigger picture in our minds, we can learn to be patient and wait.
Thirdly, facing the daily hassles such as traffic jams. As most events that make us impatient are not within our control, cultivating patience involves changing our perceptions of the circumstances or triggers. For example, when we are in a jam, we can think of other drivers with perhaps more pressing things to do. Or a waiter is new, and a bit slower but is doing her best. By empathising, we recognise we are not alone in our ordeal.
We can learn to be a bit more patient as we go along. We can learn to enjoy every present moment by considering the bigger picture.
Vince
Dr Vincent Chong is a retired Professor of Radiology at Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore.
