I have known Kenneth Ho since my primary school days. I got to know Hong Hai only three years ago. We all have some things in common: our Malaysian roots and how May 13, 1969, the Malaysian racial riots, changed the course of our lives (as we adapted to the turmoil of the post-riot era).
In the opening paragraph of Hong Hai’s article Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin, he recalled:
May 13, 1969: I was ready to head downtown from Petaling Jaya (PJ) to Kuala Lumpur (KL) to spend an evening with bachelor friends when the phone rang. It was my friend in KL. “Don’t leave your house. Turn on the news.” Over our small black-and-white TV came the shock announcement of a curfew. Had the call come a minute later, I would have driven along the Federal Highway where many Chinese were killed.
Hong Hai
And one of the many Chinese that were killed was Ho Kah Yen. (Coincidentally, I found out that Hong Hai knew Ho Kah Yen during their university days in Christchurch). His youngest brother, Kenneth Ho, recounted his feelings in his posting There is No Education Like Adversity:
On that infamous date, May 13, 1969, racial riots engulfed KL. In his prime, with everything to live for, my dear brother Kah Yen was suddenly taken away from us by an act of senseless barbarism carried out by perpetrators of hate. He was simply in the wrong area at the wrong time.
Kenneth HoHe mentioned further:
As we journey through life, everyone bears the scars of adversity; they may be mental or physical or both. We can’t always choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.
Kenneth HoAnd so, all three of us chose to dance to the new reality following the riots. Hong Hai built an outstanding career in Singapore. Kenneth had a long and successful career in British Airways (a British-trained lawyer with a master’s degree in law), and I retired as Professor of Radiology (National University of Singapore).
To me, the education of adversity is the education of adaptability. Our ability to meet life’s challenges depends on our ability to adapt – to be able (or willing) to change in changing situations, big and small.
If we take a journey back in time, we will come across thousands of species that did not survive the passage of time. The expression “survival of the fittest” did not come from Charles Darwin (Theory of Evolution). It came from Herbert Spencer, an English philosopher, who introduced this expression in Social Darwinism. Charles Darwin showed that it was not the intelligence or physical strength of a species that predicted its survival – it was the ability to adapt.
Essentially, adaptability is our capacity to (firstly) recognise changing contexts. A corresponding shift in mindset follows, resulting in an appropriate change in behaviour (response). As a comparison, the opposite of adaptability is ‘fixedness” or “rigidity” – sticking to preconceived ideas, beliefs, or old ways despite changing circumstances.
Studies have shown that adaptability improves our creative ability to solve novel tasks. We make better decisions when we can (and are willing) to see multiple perspectives; appreciate different ways of solving the same problem; and, understand both the opportunities and risks. Hence, adaptability is a critical element during successful transitions, such as relocating from one country to another, changing jobs, and from working to retirement life.
Being adaptable is good for our wellbeing – the positive mental health effects come from our ability to recognise situations that require changes in mindset or behaviour. Flexible people often come across as resilient, a trait linked with positive mental health.
Hong Hai, Kenneth, and I have adjusted to the changes (challenges) following the May 13 riots. We have moved on just as Kenneth has moved on, leaving behind a tragic personal experience.
Vince
Dr Vincent Chong is a retired Professor of Radiology at Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore.
