In her posting “When Life Changes,” Dr Tan Su-Ming described her observations on how her patient aged over the years and at the same time recognised her own ageing too. There was a tinge of sadness, acceptance, and calmness in her writing. And as I read her story, I could feel the bittersweetness of nostalgia – of days and moments in a bygone era.
Nostalgia is a familiar human experience, and for me, it is getting more prominent these days. This word came from ancient Greek is composed of two words “nostos,” (home) and “algos” (pain). It is the pain associated with being homesick, longing for the past, and feeling the loss while reminiscing. It reminds me of the song, “The Green Green Grass of Home”.
Blasts from the past are most easily triggered by music. I can remember many moments when a favourite song from my younger days triggered a sense of wistfulness, evoking fond memories of the “Those Were the Days”. (Sounds familiar to you as well?). The smell of something special or old pictures (especially those related to adolescence and young adulthood) are also powerful triggers. They activate neural activities which release “feel-good chemicals” (like dopamine). The brain areas that process emotions, memories, and smell are closely related.
Researchers have noted that, like the “Happiness U-curve,” nostalgia tends to be high among young adults, dip in middle age and rise again during old age. (I wonder if they are related!) Yes, older people are more prone to the bittersweetness of nostalgic longings. There is a feeling of sadness and loss: happiness of yesteryears that are forever gone.
Nostalgia is a mixed emotion; meaningful memories are usually a mixture of happiness and sadness; the resultant blend often forms a positive constructive narrative. They often have a significant impact on the present and the future – they help us value our relationships with people – they prompt us to get in touch with family members and friends again. (Happy memories involve relationships – we are not nostalgic about financial rewards, worldly pursuits, or individualistic priorities.)

Nostalgia turns out to be a lot more than happy reminiscing close relationships. Positive memories increase our willingness to help others; strengthen our sense of social connectedness, our social health. Such reminiscing also reinforces our identity, sense of self, and who we are over time. (Remember celebrating Lunar New Year, Hari Raya, or Deepavali with our families and friends?) Furthermore, when we speak wistfully of the past, we typically become more optimistic and inspired about the future.
I now have many more days behind me than ahead of me. The past gives meaning to my present and future. The sadness inherent in nostalgia makes the present and future wholesome.