My wife and I have volunteered as presenters in a worldwide marriage encounter weekend programme for over 10 years now.
We became volunteers because we benefitted so much after attending the programme in 2004, after 13 years of marriage. It changed our couple relationship and married lives in a way that we never thought was possible. So giving back was a natural progression, as we were so inspired and in awe of the selfless and giving presenters who volunteered their time and effort to help other couples.
Initial scepticism
I remember the Friday evening of our original ME Weekend. At the back of my mind, I was excited and hopeful, yet at the same time, I was feeling very skeptical about it. I guess I was trying to moderate my expectations, because after all, what can one weekend do that my wife and I have not already tried to do in the last 13 years to improve our marriage? I reckoned we have tried everything we could to improve our marriage and, up to then, I must admit, there did not seem to be very much more that we could have done. We may just have to accept that that is what our married life will be like. It is not the perfect marriage life that I imagined or wanted it to be, but it is what it is. In a way, I was feeling defiant and critical, and quite sure that the weekend won’t help much, even though I was secretly longing for it to be able to, but at the same time, not even daring to hope that it would be able to. It was all quite confusing. As a result, I was feeling tense, defensive and apprehensive.
Personal transformation
With so much uncertainty at the start of the weekend, I certainly could not have ever imagined the transformation in our couple relationship that took place over the weekend. Finally, finally, my wife and I were able to communicate and connect with each other the way we did in the days before our marriage, before we got caught up with work stress, children, household chores, parental duties, etc.
Very surprisingly, before the ME Weekend, even though we talked to each other daily, we never really communicated with each other the way ME taught us to. It was quite a revelation and to our surprise and delight, we were equipped with a whole new set of tools that really worked, for us to practice and use to improve our marriage. Our original ME Weekend was the turning point in our marriage life and we have not looked back since.
A programme for all
Although the programme is under the auspices of the Catholic Church, it is open to all. We have presented to couples who are Hindu, Muslim, free thinker, Buddhist, Taoist and Christians of all denominations. Past participants have also included ministers, judges, list co CEOs, doctors, lawyers, missionary workers, pastors, retirees, grandparents, couples celebrating their 50th anniversary, and even foreigners who fly in just for the programme. The cost for the weekend programme is a low $50 registration fee so that it is available to all.
And yes, it is an extremely useful programme for retirees and would-be retirees, if not even essential. For us, it certainly re-kindled the “pak tor” feelings and gave our couple relationship a second wind.
In case you are interested: www.wwmesg.org
(Featured image by Wu Jianxiong in Unsplash)
Published by Wong Foot Hin
____________________________________________________________________________
Wong Foot Hin and his wife are volunteers at the Marriage Encounter Weekend in Singapore. They have also presented the programme in Shanghai, to the English-speaking expatriate community there. They hope to do more volunteer work in their impending retirement.
Foot Hin is an aspiring retiree and an incidental lawyer. Whist waiting to be elevated to the exalted status of Retiree, he is abiding time as a Director of One Legal LLC.
