Reading Dr Kanwaljit Soin’s article “Ending ageism — the prejudice against one’s future self” (ST 30/9/21), I am reminded of my youthful ignorance and thoughtlessness. When I was a teenager, I thought of people over 40 as over the hill, as I saw their flabby underarms flapping when they waved.
Now that I am a senior, I consider only those above 90 years to be in the winter of their lives. If I live long enough, I am likely to change my goal posts.
I recently read 2 books written by a Dutch octogenarian named Hendrick Groen, who lived in a nursing home. The books were written as diaries of his life in a nursing home. Sounds boring? They became best sellers!
Some quote-worthy descriptions include:
-enjoy autumn years full of optimism
-the unbearable beauty of ordinary life
-waiting is my specialty
-life is the ultimate privilege
-wouldn’t dream of throwing food away. Rather choke to death on it
-almost every name in my address book is crossed out
-thrilled to bits if there is something to jot down in my diary other than a doctor’s appointment
-performing organ recitals (referring to body organs)
Together with a group of like minded friends, they organised outings to give themselves something to look forward to, to the envy of the other nursing home residents.
A totally contrasting book I read was titled “How to stop time” by Matt Haig, which described his protagonist as a person who, after his teenage years, aged only 1 year every 15 years. This condition, called anageria, enabled the person to look youthful and have the energy of youth, despite being several hundreds years of age. Sounds idyllic, but he had his problems, such as his wife and daughter aging much faster than him and dying way before him. That story is fictional.
In real life, we all age progressively, some more rapidly than others. When we are young, we despise the weakness, ugliness and slowness of old people. We cannot picture ourselves 60-70 years down the road. But longevity is the triumph of civilization. You should consider it a blessing to grow old. Yes, growing old sucks, but the alternative is death. Take your aging positively. Age well every day with the joy of living. You cannot be forever young, and as Dr Soin noted “we cannot keep on slathering ourselves with anti aging creams, visiting aesthetic doctors or hiding our age from friends and family”. Life can still be good and meaningful, whatever your age.
Remember, when you are young and ageist, you are prejudiced against your future self.
Feature photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash
The Secret diary of Hendrick Groen 83 ¼ years old; On the bright side: the new secret diary of Hendricks Groen 85 years old
lingsinglin
Dr Ling Sing Lin is a medical doctor by training. She worked in MOH HQ for many years, in policy making and administrative positions, until her retirement.
