Lonelier Days Ahead…

Updated on March 6, 2022

The silent pandemic of loneliness is upon us. Beware.

As the winter days get shorter and colder, our lives will get lonelier….reflect and be prepared

“Elderly may feel isolated even while living with kin – study finds over half of seniors who feel socially disconnected say they have no one to turn to”
Straits Times, August 27, 2021

The above ST report was based on a study published by researchers in the Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore, on the prevalence of social disconnection of senior citizens. Social disconnection refers to the lack of social, emotional, and physical engagement with other people. In short, we are dealing with loneliness. And here is how the report concluded:

“Social disconnection could become a bigger issue in the future, given the ageing population and with more elderly people living alone”

It did not take long to see the tragic end of social isolation the following week:

“Woman, 74, found dead in Bedok flat over a week after she was last seen”
Straits Times, September 6, 2021

“When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.” – George Martin, A Game of Thrones

The ongoing Covid-19 pandemic is headlined, grabbing news. On the other hand, the loneliness pandemic gets only an occasional mention. How many of us know that bustling Berlin, a city of 3.6 million people, is called the “Capital of Loneliness” where at least 300 people pass away every year in their flats unnoticed?

Behind every lonely death is a painful story of painful living. One might even call it living death. And the pain of loneliness is as real as physical pain. Scientists have found that the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex of the brain is activated by social distress, the same spot started by physical pain*.

MRI showing the dorsal anterior cingulate where social pain is perceived (painted area).

In evolutionary terms, pain is a protective mechanism, warning us of further harm. When we touch something hot, we withdraw before injury sets in. Pain tells us to take measures to protect our wellbeing. If loneliness is perceived as pain, what dangers lurking ahead?

The impact of social isolation is well documented. In a report as far back as 1988**, scientists showed the detrimental consequences of loneliness. It has an effect comparable to smoking, lack of exercise, obesity, and high blood pressure. The most tragic end of loneliness is suicide. Yes, the alarm bells of loneliness – the toll the agony of social pain. We must take concrete steps to mitigate the harmful effects of loneliness.

In 2018, the UK became the first country to create a Ministry of Loneliness. Earlier this year (2021), Japan followed suit. This was in response to an uptick in suicide (especially in Japanese women). Japan has one of the highest suicide rates globally: 14.9 per 100,000. Both the UK and Japan are rich countries. Using the GDP per capita standard, a high standard of living is no protection against the silent ravages of loneliness. There is now a crying need for fortification, for resilience, in helping us face the lonelier days ahead.

One possible way of looking at resilience is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Financial health takes care of our basic food, shelter, and security. Beyond that, we need to attend to our psychosocial needs, social health, and wellbeing.

An easy first step is to reconnect – get in touch with old classmates. Then, take it from there, one step at a time! You’ll be surprised at how happy you are when you see them and how glad they are when they see you.

Our winter years need not be lonely.